So I'm the girl who checks the credit card statement every month, even though I haven't used the "emergency" card in over a year. I'm the girl who sets up almost all of the bills to be automatically withdrawn. I'm the girl who pays the household bills (because if I let Nick do it, well, who knows if it would get done). I'm the girl who schedules her car payment a week early every month - just in case. So why is that Collections is calling me and my credit has now been trashed in the course of two months?
Wwwweeeeellllllllll.... Apparently my student loan grace period abrubtply ended while I was STILL IN SCHOOL. When I last checked the loan in May, no payments were due until Januray 2009. I went ahead and made 2 payments, just to keep down that interest. Now, I'm being told that I am delinquent for June, July & August. So my grace period ended 6 months early, without notice (or maybe I was just busy finishing my masters and planning a wedding), and my 2 payments didn't count towards it. Great. I'm furious. I'm sick of talking to rude girls in India who just keep acting like I did something wrong, and it couldn't possibly be a clerical error on their company's part. Grr.
And then the fury subsides. I want to cry. It's hopeless. No matter how hard I work, we'll never be able to get out from this debt. If I pay (oh so much money) every month, I'll still be paying my student loans until I'm 38. So, my future children are already screwed. I won't be able to save for thier college education, because all the extra money will be going towards paying off mine.
This all ties back into hating what I'm doing. As soon as I come to terms with the compromise I've made, I want to back out. Yes, I want Nick to go to school, and yes, I want us to be successful in the future... But I still feel like I'm going to be here forever, never making enough money to get us to a financially independent place. I feel guilty for even thinking about taking a honeymoon. I feel like any of the cash we have left over or get from the wedding should be put towards the car, the credit card, the mortgage, the student loans.
I've coined myself the Paper-Cut Queen, because that is what I do. I seperate samples and put them in envelopes. I file. I run a report from one database and enter the info into another database. I have my Masters degree to do what I could pay a 12 year old to do (except I have a fancy title - hmm... no one else with my fancy title, a masters and 10 years of experience is doing this...) Is this all sounding familiar? So, while I'm stuffing my envelopes yesterday, the designers are doing a photoshoot just feet away from me. I want to cry. I have my degree in photography and design... How have I let myself get here? How am I almost 30 and not doing anything I wanted to be doing in my career? Sigh. I need a vacation. I need a new job. I need more blasted money. I'm so voting democratic.
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Labor Day
Hi all - I hope you had a relaxing Labor Day weekend. We had a "staycation" as Nick put it. On Friday, we met up with some old friends at the new local tavern for dinner and drinks, and managed to make some new friends, too! Saturday was wedding stuff and chores and errands. I think we have finished our wedding map! It looks pretty cool. We're just going to print it on 8.5x11" paper and fold it into the invite envelopes (if we ever buy any). On Sunday we had a pool birthday party for one of our neighbors. It was SO relaxing to float around the pool with a beer in hand. I'm wishing I were there right now instead of sitting in an office building...
After the pool party, we showered and dressed up super quick and headed off to our friends' wedding. It was everything our wedding is not. It was a religious ceremony. The reception was in a hall with massive chandeliers and gold-mirrored walls. There was a emcee in tails and white gloves. There was a full open bar and a live band. There were tons of people who probably aren't super close to the bride and groom - including us. It was pretty overwhelming. It did get Nick actually thinking about the wedding and interested in helping plan it. Although he says he has complete confidence in my wedding planning skills... He really shouldn't.
Right now I'm freaking out about the possibility of the hotel we booked for the guests and for the night-before party being a shithole. Mind you, it's the ONLY hotel in the whole freggin town. Nick's mom said she went by there and it seemed nice... I honestly wanted the party at this adorable little outdoor venue in downtown. We hadn't heard back from them, and it really wasn't up to me at the end of the day, so we're having the party at the Holiday Inn, which ends up being more expensive for less, but then guests don't have to drive anywhere. ANYWAY, I was looking up the distance from the hotel to the downtown area on Google for the wedding map, and some reviews came up. Apparently we're all in for rude staff, live bugs, and mold. Yippee.
Monday was all about yardwork, grilling hotdogs on the deck and playing Super Mario World. A wedding-free fun-filled day!
After the pool party, we showered and dressed up super quick and headed off to our friends' wedding. It was everything our wedding is not. It was a religious ceremony. The reception was in a hall with massive chandeliers and gold-mirrored walls. There was a emcee in tails and white gloves. There was a full open bar and a live band. There were tons of people who probably aren't super close to the bride and groom - including us. It was pretty overwhelming. It did get Nick actually thinking about the wedding and interested in helping plan it. Although he says he has complete confidence in my wedding planning skills... He really shouldn't.
Right now I'm freaking out about the possibility of the hotel we booked for the guests and for the night-before party being a shithole. Mind you, it's the ONLY hotel in the whole freggin town. Nick's mom said she went by there and it seemed nice... I honestly wanted the party at this adorable little outdoor venue in downtown. We hadn't heard back from them, and it really wasn't up to me at the end of the day, so we're having the party at the Holiday Inn, which ends up being more expensive for less, but then guests don't have to drive anywhere. ANYWAY, I was looking up the distance from the hotel to the downtown area on Google for the wedding map, and some reviews came up. Apparently we're all in for rude staff, live bugs, and mold. Yippee.
Monday was all about yardwork, grilling hotdogs on the deck and playing Super Mario World. A wedding-free fun-filled day!
Saturday, August 30, 2008
Happy birthday!
Yesterday was my friend Jessica's birthday. Happy B-day Jessi!
I was very proud of the "ticket" I made for her.
Thursday, August 28, 2008
Am I fat?
That is a stupid question. I know I'm not. So, what is it with everyone's insistence that I MUST go to the gym before my wedding. Holy shit, I might not fit into my size 2 dress that I bought a whopping 4 months ago! I had a male, 50-something co-worker tell me today that if he were me, and had a dress fitting coming up (no he's not gay, and yes, he asked me when my fitting appointment was...weird), that he would be hitting that gym everyday! AND that I can't "let myself go" until after the wedding. Like I'm tricking Nick into marrying me, so I can become a lazy pig eating bonbons on the couch afterwards. Mind you, this is while he jammed a piece of work-wedding-shower cake in his face and I sat sipping my lemonade and sucking on a cough drop (nursing a summer cold). I have been avoiding the cake. Isn't that enough?! Why is there so much pressure to be some skinny anorexic bride? And then I can let myself go to hell in a hand-basket after the wedding. No one gives a crap about long term health or nutrition. Another male co-worker asked me if I was going to tan for my wedding. As if marital bliss can only be achieved if I've subjected my skin to more UV Rays and possible skin cancer than growing up in Florida already has.
My new blog
Welcome to my new, rose-only blog!
So I originally started this blog as my "portfolio" for school... But who am I really kidding? I'm not going anywhere right now, much less applying for a design job...
I have the blog with Nick, but that is more of a Nick and Rose blog for our families and friends to look at. I have no outlet for my thoughts, dreams, inspirations, and rants. I can't put that where the whole family can read them...
And a lot of what has inspired me to start my own blog has been the various wedding blogs I've been reading during the wedding planning. Through those, I have found other blogs, such as NieNie's blog. I am in love with this family and the joy they create for themselves. Recently NieNie & her husband were in a private plane crash. Both are seriously injured and hospitalized for burns. Her family has been so strong, and there has been a tremendous amount of support from the blogging community. It is so inspirational to me how people who have never met this family, but fallen in love with them as I have, through thier blog, have reached out and donated prayers, time & money for her recovery.
I have the blog with Nick, but that is more of a Nick and Rose blog for our families and friends to look at. I have no outlet for my thoughts, dreams, inspirations, and rants. I can't put that where the whole family can read them...
And a lot of what has inspired me to start my own blog has been the various wedding blogs I've been reading during the wedding planning. Through those, I have found other blogs, such as NieNie's blog. I am in love with this family and the joy they create for themselves. Recently NieNie & her husband were in a private plane crash. Both are seriously injured and hospitalized for burns. Her family has been so strong, and there has been a tremendous amount of support from the blogging community. It is so inspirational to me how people who have never met this family, but fallen in love with them as I have, through thier blog, have reached out and donated prayers, time & money for her recovery.
Anyway... Going back to what I said before - that I'm not going anywhere for a while... We are trying to get out of debt, plan a wedding and honeymoon, pay our mortgage, and figure out a life/family plan. Nick really wants to teach and pursue his painting career, so he is planning on going back to school for his master's degreen next fall! While he does that, he will probably only be able to work part-time. So, I will be the main breadwinner, pulling in mortgage $ and making sure we have insurance. I am okay with this sacrafice so long as it gets us to where we want to be - which is Nick painting and teaching, and me staying home with the future kiddies and doing freelance design and selling some artwork on Etsy.
It seems like a far off dream, but we're hoping to be there in 3 years. Plus, if I'm at my job for another 2 years, I'll get 12 weeks of paid maternity leave, so it's worth staying... Even though I feel like I got my masters degree to be doing what I could pay a 12 year old 5 bucks an hour to do... That's a whole different rant that I'll save for another day.
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